been a while since I was catholic what's up is there a schism going on? are we fighting over what kind of pizza is best

new pope says chicago style is best, new pope is right

@cwebber immediate unfollow, omg

(anyone who cannot read the CW on this one gets a block, I am not revisiting my childhood in earnestness tonight)

@cwebber a group of Catholic right-wing rogues are minting bootleg Bishops and getting excommunicated, because they don't like the socialist leanings of Pope Chicago (or I guess Jesus?)

@cwebber shouldn't the catholic church have a catma instead of a dogma?

@cwebber

Not looking forward to the return of pope classic.

@aud If God didn't want an ocean of sauce on the top then what even is religion

@cwebber scans cw quickly, reads "dogma kink", opens post

Pineapple.

@noisytoot @cwebber That's Discordianism.

@cwebber I'm so tired of these boring schismatics who can't be bothered to declare an antipope, and just vaguely pretend to recognize the pope in Rome.

Who wants to declare themself the true pope and rule that communion wafers be replaced with Hawaiian pizza?

@cwebber
Pope Leo says Aurelio's, and I can live with that.

@cwebber Whether pierogi are boiled and then baked, or boiled and then buttered.

@noisytoot @cwebber so like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Holic but everyone's a cat?

@drwho listen I do the chaos gremlin move of putting water and oil and pierogies in the pan all at the same time and let the water boil off and it works great

@cwebber Never would have happened if the hatmen had elected the guy named Pizzaballa.

@cwebber Noah’s flood was a metaphor about how too much sauce kills you, obviously!! You’ve gotta have the stuff on the top! It’s the only way to live!

@cwebber Are we absolutely certain religions aren't actually single-celled organisms?

@drwho @cwebber is there no room for us heathens, who broil then fry them?

@cwebber all* pizza are beautiful.

(No pineapple for me plz.)

@cwebber

@drwho @noisytoot @cwebber Easy mistake to make: they have a Chat-echism.

@ids1024 @cwebber The serious ones do declare an antipope! My favorite was always “Pope Michael I” (aka David Bawden), who was elected pope in 1990 by a conclave of six people in a Kansas thrift store

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bawden

@drwho @cwebber ... people bake pierogi?

@evan
Okay, I didn't want to get into doctrine, but you're forcing me to.

"Chicago style" does not necessarily equal "deep dish", but it does imply sausage and giardiniera.

@cwebber

@AbyssalRook @noisytoot @cwebber 🌭

@cwebber
This is why I'm cool with Unitarians, they're just "yay, pizza!"

@aud @cwebber at least the Bible clearly calls for anchovies on pizza

@iris_meredith @cwebber That's how I learned how to make them. Boil gently until they float, then give them five minutes.

Layer in a baking dish with butter.

Cover. Bake.

@cwebber that was where it started but for some reason it escalated to Little Caesar claiming he could give Papa John a Michelin star and like you just can’t *do* ghaty

@cwebber Go right ahead - you do you.

Several score miles thataway. 👉

:)

@lordbowlich @cwebber Personally, I don't care. Pierogi are the universal language.

@carto @cwebber team pineapple over here

I expect the pope agrees

or perhaps he

is

incensed

@dannotdaniel @cwebber I suspect his thurifer swings both ways

@cwebber

The Archdiocese of Detroit begs to differ on the pizza question and they will absolutely split the church over this matter.

@cwebber Detroit style pizza ftw, i don't care, excommunicate me bro

@cwebber
My karma ran over my dogma.

It took me way too long to get that you didn't talk about the Chicago Manual of Style and now I'm disappointed. CMOS Pope would have been a fun thing.

@cwebber

@cwebber I'm afraid that the schismatics are claiming that their own french abomination is the one real pizza, and the church is saying that pizza alla romana is the best pizza, but every other pizza has some (big or small) kernel of goodness into it, even that hawaiian thing

@cwebber Render unto Little Caesar five dollars for thy pizza