Hey I wonder what's the state of distributed databases in 2026... Let's check out their websites!

CockroachDB: “Resilient AI scale without compromise.”
YugabyteDB: “Distributed PostgreSQL for the Agentic Enterprise”
ScyllaDB: “ScyllaDB for Real-Time AI”
Clickhouse: “The leading database for AI”
TiDB: “AI-Native Distributed SQL Database”

Extremely normal industry.

I guess it's time to learn FoundationDB?

Apple is too busy making billions of dollars to update its website... Wonder how their Git repo is doing!

*looks at GH username ending in -oai and a squished avatar because of course GH is now just slop*

Oh no.

God this whole thing makes me want to get myself lobotomized.

@q3k no no that's what they're doing already

@q3k just use sqlite over NFS

@gorplop i'm gonna migrate this instance to pleroma just so i can respond to this with an angry reaction

@q3k @gorplop Also I guess the Erlang stuff would be this:
NoSQL erlang fault-tolerance.png

@lanodan @gorplop this is @ol0ck content (ask him about mnesia)

@q3k @lanodan @gorplop

SELECT * FROM PAPIEZ is a myth, made up by the utterly insane

gowno/2 is the only way

@q3k To be fair, actually storing these petabytes of training data currently requires actual thought put into storage. It's what their clients are searching for, it's where the money is.

@q3k All "IT" companies are now calling themselves "AI" to get more eyes and because it's trendy.