When I become the Overlord of Earth, I'm banning all emails.

@catsalad tfft

@catsalad i for one welcome our new vegetable/feline ruler

@catsalad
"I hope this email never finds you"

@catsalad

For some reason I've never hated emails.

Now, meetings? That shit had got to go.

@catsalad you’ve got my vote

@catsalad Sold.

@catsalad

Except for some handicapped people!
Hearing Impaired Dyspraxics in particular.

@catsalad Please ban voicemail, too.

@catsalad "This email WILL be a meeting!"

@catsalad I'm banning billionaires.

I'll paint my travel trailer with your logo when you do that. Or at least put an "All Hail 🐈🥗" bumper sticker on it.
@catsalad

@catsalad

But then how will the email find me?

@catsalad Why are we having a meeting just for you to announce this? This could have been... oh.

@catsalad "may this slack group message find you well"

@catsalad do you have an estimation when? :P

@catsalad please, don’t, if something needs banking it’s unscheduled, non-urgent phone calls

@noisytoot noooooo 😭

@AnguaDelphine Oh, all other text forms are fine. Just email in particular 📧

@Darkphoenix Better yet...

@kwayk42 Oh no... What have I done?!

@catsalad Do meetings next.

@RnDanger @catsalad This email has a very particular set of skills. Skills it has acquired over a very long composition period. Skills that make it a nightmare for people like you. If you respond now, that will be the end of it - it will not hope to find you well... but if you don't, it will find you well... and it will kill you... sorry, it will request a response.

@catsalad

You have my sword.

@catsalad

So MMS messages it is! 🙂👍

@catsalad

I'm banning Christ-Fascist Tech Arsehole Billionaires.

Precise definitions of each term subject to ongoing evaluation and inflation.

@catsalad How will you communicate that?

@catsalad i for one welcome our new cat overlord.

@simonzerafa Per my last MMS

@catsalad

If only! 😍🤷‍♂️

@catsalad I like the word "overlord". It doesn't have the divine right associated with a monarchy. It doesn't have the power of the people associated with a democracy. It's most like putting in hard work, accomplishing your goal, and keeping the position through strength of will and body. It's resilience and tenacity.