i’m actually convinced that if nginx’s if statements were good we’d have flying cars by now. every time i have to edit one of those i feel like i’m the “lucky” villager chosen to feed the dragon that week

@domi if nginx's if were good
...
if if if if if if if if aaaaaaaaa

I sure love working around nginx's `if` statements

"i want to do if...else, how do I go about that?" and the response is always "oh SIMPLE just use map"

map makes you do everything in an ass-backwards way and it's a terrible way to do NEARLY anything. i feel like it got added for a Reason and then someone found out that it can do much more and now we're stuck with neutered if statements, because the "pros" can get around

map reminds me of x86's MOV, which has been proven to be turing complete.

@domi the configuration language for any sufficiently complex system will start out declarative and then inevitably evolve to become a really terrible imperative language.

Just give me an imperative language to start with, cowards