https://paletteswap.site/different-colors/nintendo-hoping-youve-forgotten-it-enslaved-that-one-switch-hacker-by-now/

“The term ‘indentured servant’ is more accurate,’ but yes, Mr. Bowser does technically work for Nintendo against his will,” the spokesperson said. “Please understand, we were very upset at the time of his arrest, as he and Team Xecuter had cost us tens of millions of theoretical dollars. We had hoped that we and our players had put this shameful incident behind us, but with that said, we have no intention of freeing Mr. Bowser. After all, as we have shown in his case and many, many others, we are fiercely protective of our beloved little characters.”

also

“What Nintendo is doing is immoral, frankly,” Ruland said. “They don’t even need the money. They’re doing this out of spite, and to scare people. But… if I’m being honest, I’m probably still going to buy a Switch 2. Sorry, Gary. I’ve been waiting almost 20 years for Metroid Prime 4, and I’m not about to play it on previous-gen hardware.”
Ruland has since promised to offset the costs of a Switch 2, Metroid Prime 4, Pokémon Legends: Z-A, the next installment of Mario Kart, and any other Nintendo purchases with equivalent donations to Bowser’s GoFundMe.

xd

for context, he has chronic lymph issues in his left leg, so he basically can’t walk.

the said go fund me is here; https://www.gofundme.com/f/garyopa-restarting-his-life

@ada that first quote is absolutely wild, holy shit

@0d_billie nintendo admitting to enslaving someone is crazy

@ada @0d_billie seems to be satire though, haven't been able to find the quote cited literally anywhere else

@ptrc @ada ahh, it did cross my mind that it could be satirical. but reality is increasingly onionesque, so i squashed that suspicion down 😂

@ptrc @0d_billie yea reading the about page it seems to be former hard drive writers

articles labeled different colors is satire, but true colors is real

@ptrc @ada @0d_billie everything but the quotes (with nintendo actually admitting to slavery) seems to be true though, he does actually have to pay 20-30% of his income to nintendo

@ada Can't believe that wasn't satire...